Don't Believe Everything You Think

This morning I cheerfully said “good morning!” to a houseguest. He looked at me at me crossly and turned away and walked out of the room. I began to wonder if I had done something to offend him or if the quarrel I knew he was having with his wife had something to do with what I or my husband, David, might have said or done. So, later in the morning, I asked him if I had offended him in some way. He looked at me with clear surprise, even shock, and said, “on the contrary, you have been great!” Then his wife came into the kitchen smiling, giving him a big hug.

I’ve been writing about archetypal (universal) stories for decades, yet I still have to remind myself to question my own thinking. In this context, I remembered how easily a thought sneaks into my head that I must have done something wrong. I know I got this from my Swedish immigrant heritage. It taught me to about anticipate the needs of others and to experience shame if I make them unhappy. So I find that it is particularly helpful to me to question the first story that pops into my mind.

I’m not alone. Most people find it hard to notice which stories define what they think, say, and do. We all have stories that take over when we are not mindful. Often the first narrative that comes into our mind appears to us wrongly to be the simple truth of the matter. At the same time, we often do not think to question the cultural narratives that drive us to follow stereotyped life paths. As Joseph Campbell (The Hero With a Thousand Faces) frequently warned, too many people reach the top of a prescribed ladder of success only to find to their dismay that it is up against the wrong wall.

Hugh Marr and I created the Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator® and developed into a well-researched, validated and reliable instrument to help people recognize the stories that are habitual for them and the positive and negative sides of each. So, I know that the story that was leading me to misunderstand the situation in my kitchen is the negative pole of the positive Caregiver, an archetype to promotes compassion, kindness, altruism, and generosity, the positive side of the values that came from my Swedish heritage along with the idea that I should be able to read people’s minds.

There are many experts today who warn about not believing what we think, but many of these end up advising people not to tell stories, assuming that all stories are lies. But the brain makes meaning of what happens in narrative form, so those who say that just substitute a more positive story for a more negative one without recognizing they are doing so.

A knowledge of archetypal stories can take people deeper, so beyond critiquing the stories they think, they recognize these as clues to who they could be at their best. Archetypal stories are universal because they define what people have thought, said, wrote, and done in all times and places, and potentially evolve as we do.

The PMAI system is designed to help people like you be truer to yourself and your purpose, while also evolving to realize your best potential. I began the journey of writing What Stories Are You Living? as a way to help PMAI users apply relevant, updated theory to understanding and utilizing their results in their own lives and in their interactions with others. The PMAI experience helps people identify the archetypal stories that support their authenticity and update their views about who they are now and where they may be headed.

As I began developing the book's content, I was able to integrate deeper insights from Jungian and archetypal psychology into practical uses of PMAI results. I realized that this work could also be augmented by weaving into the book innovative developments in neuroscience, contemporary research on story, and in the fields of coaching and leadership development.

Some time ago, Betsy Styron, Chair of the Myers & Briggs Foundation, suggested to me that the PMAI experience needed a book of its own that provided everything PMAI users would need to understand and use their results optimally. For me this meant the book should contain:

1. The basic and new theories under-girding the instrument and its use
2. In-depth descriptions of the 12 archetypes tested in individuals and human creations
   
3. The meaning of the three categories of PMAI responses
   
4. Application principles and examples for utilizing the 12-archetype system in one’s own life
   
5. Knowledge that helps in engaging and influencing others and larger social systems.

Groundbreaking insights now reveal how your PMAI results not only help you be more authentic, but also be more successful as you make contributions to others and the world at large that build on your strengths, motivations, and interests. Understanding the 12-archetype system and how to apply it practically with the PMAI experience can increase your “narrative intelligence” (NQ). NQ helps you relate more skillfully to others and respond more effectively to new situations because you can decode the bubbles over people’s heads to surmise what they are thinking. All of these abilities are essential in today’s fast-changing, unpredictable world and in engaging with diverse global populations.